Fast Forward to The Good Part

Who am I this year? A question I often find myself asking as if I have any clue what the answer would be. But it’s not as if I don’t feel nor don’t want to feel different because I do. I want to change my ways; I want to grow. How I would be going about change and growth I have yet to discover.

I wish I could say 2025 was something I would forever cherish and look back on with great pleasure, but I simply cannot. It is not to say I didn’t enjoy myself countless times this year, but I don’t think anything monumental nor exceptional happened to me this year. I feel stupid for embarrassing myself last New Years Eve by crouching under my family’s outdoor firepit to eat 12 grapes while our guests were questioning my actions. I thought that I will show them with my new boyfriend and amazing grades that I ate the grapes for them and it worked, but that was not the exact outcome. I did get great grades and I’m very proud of that, but it is not to say I didn’t have my fair share of crying while starring at a google doc, or awkward conversations with teachers. And for the boyfriend, the only place my lipstick has transferred onto this past year has been on my owala bottles, and not to speak for them, but they enjoyed it .

I hate hookup culture and I had my selection of opportunities to participate in it this year and they were the easiest rejections I’ve ever given. I don’t want to meet up with you in someoene’s basement, nor in the bathroom at a restaurant. What happened to going out on dates to see if you liked someone? Bring back dates in 2026!

Maybe this year someone besides my parents, or friends will bring me to a restaurant and we could split an ice cream Sunday at the end of the night. But it all seems like a fantasy because I would most likely have to send pictures of my face on Snapchat for about a month, whilst answering the dullest of questions, all to probably go to an ice cream shop to have the most awkward conversations because, quite frankly, we only know each other through a screen, of course we wouldn’t know how to act when we’re breathing the same air.

This year sounds like a fever dream and I’m barely in it. I have college applications, getting my license, and college acceptances all to look forward to this year, so if anyone that is about 26 years old with a beautiful British husband would like to switch places with me this year I would greatly appreciate it. I want to just skip it all, college and pretty much everything that predates getting married, having kids, and a career where I’m in my desired position. Is it possible for me to go into a coma for 10 years, but still accomplish everything? I hope time will fly because my baby name list is getting longer and longer and is awaiting use. Anyways, I hope 2026 treats us all well because God knows we deserve it.